So my Black Widow friend has been on this crazy crash diet where she eats half of her usual portions of everything (of which the other half goes to my The Hulk friend without fail) and absolutely no carbs for dinner. Why, you may ask? Well, just cos she can lose 10kg to become 45kg, which is apparently the ideal weight that all girls will be ‘beautiful’ (disclaimer: please do not ask me to expand on this theory as it was not mine and do not judge us either but yes, you may think of us as bimbos in this instance though I can assure you, and our bosses, that we are quite brilliant when it comes to our day jobs).
Anyways, back to my point. So when my Black Widow friend explained her methods of losing the 10kg, I asked her back and our conversation went something like this:
Me: So what happens when you reach your target 45kg?
Black Widow: What do you mean what happens? I then become slim and beautiful, of course!
Me: No, I mean thereafter. What happens after that? You do realise that losing all the weight is not the most difficult, maintenance is the silent killer.
<blank stares from Black Widow>
Black Widow: Who cares?! At least I can tell people that I was ever 45kg.
<-__-” + (major roll eyes x 100) + (face palm x 101)>
Ok, so that (refer above) I really do not understand.
But Black Widow being a master with words, has since managed to convince another of my superhero friends, Supergirl, to join her in her quest.
My Brash but Timid Friend – Supergirl
And together, the two of them have been obsessed with achieving the vertical ab line. What is the vertical ab line, you may ask?
So here my readers, is the vertical ab line:
And in case you have no idea what the owner of this perfect female form, which sorry to disappoint but does not belong to me, is pointing to, I have taken the liberty to outline it in yellow here (thank you very much):
According to my The Hulk friend, in order to achieve this vertical ab line, one needs to maintain their fat percentage at precisely between 12 and 14 percent (please do not bother to correct me if I am wrong cos I clearly am).
So when Black Widow and Supergirl took in this news, they thought their expressions were calm and collected like this:
when actually they were really like this:
No matter, Black Widow and Supergirl chose to ignore The Hulk’s ‘exaggerated techniques’ (as they call it) and continue with their futile attempts (as The Hulk kindly points out) to lose those pounds. But hey, superheroes are at least 60% human too, so just to help my two dear friends better rationalise their need to lose the pounds, here I share with you an interesting series titled ‘Famous Chunkies’ by Chicago-based illustrator Alex Solis, cos seeing is believing.
But whatever your reason to lose the pounds, just remember, everything in moderation and exercise is key!